Eternal Love
by Drowned Island Goddess
Summary: Eloise/Richard, Eloise/Charles. Ellie always wanted to impress Richard but then she falls in love with him. How can she make him notice her and is a relationship even possible?
1. Part 1

Ellie had always looked up to Richard. When she'd first met him, she had been impressed by his appearance and his character. He was dark and handsome, he was intelligent, strong and had enough authority to be a leader, though he never took that position. From the beginning, it had been her highest ambition to get his attention, to be praised by him and to impress him like no one else ever had. So when her education started, she paid more attention to classes than any of the other children, she trained harder than anyone else her age and instead of using her free time to relax, she took extra lessons in fighting. Soon, she was fluent in Latin, Spanish and Russian. She knew everything about history that could be known. Her fighting skills outdid those of adolescents a lot older than herself. She had a lot of knowledge about healing and knew how to treat a gunshot wound. The other children labeled her as "odd" and didn't want to have much to do with her but she barely noticed because she never lost sight of her goal. Her ambitions soon were rewarded because she was allowed to take part in important and secret missions. Whereas other teenagers her age still took lessons in Latin or had to improve their weak fighting skills, she was permitted to accompany the adults into the jungle. It didn't take long until they trusted in her skills and stopped watching her every step but gave her important positions in the team. When there was an attack, she never missed her target because she didn't hesitate. She never got trapped by the enemy because she was observant. She also never got fooled by anybody because she could tell when someone was lying to her. Thanks to her qualities, she was allowed to be in the team around Richard and sometimes they even talked to each other. He knew her name and her skills, though he rarely commented on them. But when she did something right, he would smile sometimes and that was better than nothing, though she still wanted him to praise her. She was the youngest member of the team but everyone took her serious. Except for one boy, who was only a few years older than her. His name was Charles and he was as ambitious as she was. He always had to be best at everything and he didn't like to take orders from anyone, not even from Richard. He constantly seemed to ignore her skills and treated her like a baby. They always fought and competed and it made her angry when he beat her at something.

When Ellie was seventeen, she realized her feelings for Richard were more than admiration but that she actually was in love with him. She had always scoffed at other people who fell in love because she considered those feelings as a waste of time and a weakness. Love made people vulnerable and that was something she didn't intend to be. She wanted to prove to everyone that she was strong. So at first, she ignored her feelings. If she didn't think about them, there might be the chance she got over them. Still, she caught herself watching Richard's every move, listening to every word he said and wishing to be hold by his strong arms. She was glad she had learned how to keep a straight face during all her training, so at least her expression wouldn't give her away.

One day, some time after they had buried the hydrogen bomb, she got into a fight with Charles again. They had been on a mission where Charles was in command and he hadn't let her do anything but ordered her to stay in the back. She had protested but he couldn't be persuaded otherwise and she had let the matter go because she didn't want to endanger the mission. But right after they had come back to the camp, she had started an argument that ended in the two of them tussling on the ground. Eventually, Richard had to interfere or matters would have gotten worse. Charles returned to his tent angrily and Ellie wanted to go and blow off steam training, but Richard hold her back.

"I think, you and I need to talk, Ellie," he told her. "Let's take a walk."

She was still so angry she didn't even notice he used the short version of her name, a thing he rarely did. It was something she wished he'd do more often because it always seemed a bit affectionate, while "Eloise" sounded more formal.

They left the camp behind and made their way through the jungle, until they reached a meadow with a view to the valley. It was the perfect place for a picnic, Ellie thought, but unfortunately they hadn't brought the equipment. Nevertheless, Richard took a seat on the ground and motioned her to follow suit. She sat down next to him and waited for his words of disapproval.

"I come here sometimes when I need to calm down or think about something," he told her. "The view is quite beautiful and calming."

She looked at him with surprise. She had expected him to scold her for her behavior.

"I can't imagine that you ever have to calm down," she admitted. "You never seem to lose your temper."

"Oh, it happens from time to time," he said smiling.

She thought about it.

"So you brought me here to calm down?" she asked. Her anger had already cooled off during the walk.

"Yes, but I also wanted to talk to you," he said in a more serious tone.

She looked at him questioningly.

"I've noticed that you've been losing your temper quite a lot, recently," he said. "You and Charles start a quarrel at least twice a day."

"That's not just my fault," Ellie started defending herself. "He's unbearable. He's so arrogant and thinks he's the only one who can do things right. He always treats me like a baby and doesn't allow me to do anything important, though I am competent enough."

"But that didn't bother you that much in the past," Richard said. "You two had fights from time to time but it kept within limits. You used to counter with words, not with fists. Right now it's unbearable. We can't leave the two of you out of sight because we must fear you'll kill each other."

She listened to him in astonishment. He had observed her better than she would have thought, he had even noticed that she had changed. She felt ashamed that he of all things had paid attention to her bad behavior.

"I'm sorry, it's just harder than it used to be," she stated.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered.

"I don't know," she said. "It's just ... I'm so confused at the moment. Everything seemed to be so easy until –"

She'd almost let out her secret but just in time stopped herself.

"Until what?" Richard asked. "Did anything happen to you? Do you have any problems? You can talk to me about it."

"I wish I could," she said.

"You can," he said softly. "You go through a difficult phase, right now. You are one of the best in my team but it's normal for your age to start questioning everything you do. If you need some time out, just say the word. Nobody would blame you. You've exceeded all expectations a long time ago. Your skills are very impressive – not only for your age but also for people a lot older than you. Still, you might need a change, some time alone."

She had listened attentively. It was the first time, he had actually complimented her skills and told her what he thought about her.

"It's not that," she explained. "I don't want some time out, I love what I am doing and couldn't imagine anything better."

"Then what is it?" Richard asked. "I don't understand. You said you were confused."

"I am," Ellie said. "My feelings are confused, I'm feeling things I have never felt before. I don't want those feelings, they are distracting me. I tried to ignore them but that only made it worse. Why can't I just get rid of those feelings?"

Understanding spread on his face and he smiled.

"You're in love?" he asked. "Is it Charles? Is that the reason why you two always fight?"

She looked at him appalled.

"Of course it's not Charles, how can you even think I'd be in love with him?" she asked disgusted. "It's someone else."

"I'm sorry if I have offended you but he seemed the most obvious choice," Richard said. "You're nearly the same age."

"Well, he isn't very mature for his age," scoffed Ellie. "Sometimes he acts like a child. Everything has to be about him and he won't accept that there are people as qualified as he is."

She absently played with a blade of grass.

"He'll outgrow that phase," Richard assured her.

"I sure hope so," Ellie said and laid down in the grass. "You're right, this place really is beautiful."

She smiled at him.

"You've grown so much," Richard mused.

"Hm?" Ellie asked.

"It seems like yesterday that you started your education," Richard explained. "You were still very small but you also were the most ambitious student we ever had. All of your teachers were impressed. At first, there still was fear your interest would cease but you never disappointed."

She listened delighted. She had never known he had paid so much attention to her when she was a child. She'd always thought he wouldn't notice her.

"Funny how time passes," Richard said. "Not long ago you were that little girl, trying to be best at everything, now you're all grown up."

"And you haven't aged a day," Ellie mused.

They lapsed into silence. Ellie took in his tanned face, his chocolate brown eyes with the thick lashes and his short, dark hair. He was so handsome. She couldn't imagine a face more perfect than his. He was all she ever wanted. Cautiously, she got closer to him. He sat still like a statue and watched her moving closer. She feared that he would suddenly move away but he still sat immobile. She was now sitting in front of him and the tips of their noses nearly met. Her heart pounded like it was out of control, her face felt hot and her hands were wet with sweat. She dismissed all her concerns and closed the space between them. Her lips softly brushed his and everything around her was blocked out. He immediately opened his mouth and their tongues met. She noticed that he shifted his position, laid his right hand behind her neck and placed her back on the ground, towering over her. They hungrily kissed again and made small moaning sounds. She wanted to touch him and the fire in his eyes told her that he could barely withhold. It made her feel more confident and she started rubbing her hands over his chest. Her right hand found the top button of his shirt and she undid it. Richard pushed her hands aside and started unbuttoning her shirt. It came off and revealed her brown tank top. He kissed her eagerly and moaned. She couldn't really comprehend what was happening. A few minutes ago, she had had problems telling him her feelings and now they were lying on the ground kissing. She wished he would never stop. In the distance, a bird screeched and suddenly Richard pulled back, looking at her with a shocked expression.

"What's wrong?" she asked cautiously, expecting an attack by the enemy.

"I'm so sorry, Ellie," he said. "I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that and I feel horrible about what I did to you. I know, I can't take it back but believe me, it won't happen again."

"What are you talking about?" Ellie asked confused. "What are you apologizing for? There's nothing to be sorry for."

"I took advantage of you!" Richard exclaimed in horror.

"What?" Ellie asked shocked. "I started kissing you. I wanted this."

"But it's wrong!" Richard said. "I never should have responded or encouraged you. You are a minor, you are inexperienced. You have no idea what you're getting yourself involved in. My behavior is inexcusable."

"But we didn't do anything wrong, we both wanted it," Ellie said frustrated.

"It was wrong and can't happen again!" Richard said firmly.

"But I want it to happen again!" Ellie explained. "I want you, Richard! I've wanted you for a long time. I told you about my feelings, that I was in love with somebody. I was talking about you."

"What?" Richard asked taken aback. He tried to reattain his composure. "You don't even know me, Ellie. You don't know who I am, what I've done..."

"That doesn't matter," she said. "I want to get to know you."

Ellie reached out to him but he took hold of her hand before she could touch his face.

"That can't happen," Richard said. His voice had changed into a harsh tone. "I don't feel the same way about you. I'm really sorry I went for you. I was tempted because it's been a long time since I've been with a woman. When you kissed me I lost control, which almost ended badly. I really should have controlled myself better because you and I don't want the same things. You're looking for love, something I can't give you. I'm sorry if I'm hurting your feelings but it's better you hear the truth now, before it's too late."

"So you're telling me you don't care for me?" Ellie asked feeling tears forming in her eyes.

"Of course I care for you, but not in the sense you want me to," Richard said.

"But you think I'm attractive," Ellie said still hopeful. "You wanted me, Richard, you can't fool me."

"Just because it's been such a long time for me," Richard claimed. "It has nothing to do with you. I shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation. You're still a child."

"I'll be eighteen soon," Ellie exclaimed. "And I know perfectly well what I'm doing and what I want. We could be lovers, at least. Why do you refuse? I'm offering you to –"

"Ellie, please stop talking like that," Richard said appalled. "You might pretend that it doesn't matter if I don't return your feelings but I know that you'd be hurt. You deserve to be with someone who loves you back and not just uses you to satisfy his needs. I cannot give you what you want and I won't give in anymore. Besides, Jacob would never approve of our relationship. I have a job to do and can't afford to be distracted."

"To hell with Jacob," Ellie said annoyed. "Doesn't he want you to have a life?"

"Eloise!" Richard said sternly. "Don't speak like that of Jacob. What we did was wrong and should never have happened. It cannot happen again. I don't want to hear anymore about it, end of discussion."

Tears were running down her cheeks and she didn't bother to wipe them away.

"We should get back," Richard said businesslike and got up from the ground. "The others are probably wondering where we are."

He passed her without another glance and made his way back into the forest. She followed him, crying soundless and coping with her broken heart.


	2. Part 2

Richard had been avoiding her ever since the events on the meadow. She never got direct orders from him but only via other members of his team. When she was walking around the place where he had erected his tent, he would disappear inside and stay until she was gone. Whenever they met somewhere in the camp he just ignored her, pretending she wasn't even there. Ellie was hurt but she was intent on not letting it show. She did what she always did, concentrating on her work and trying to be a respectable member of the team. Every mission she attended was a success, which to a great extend was because of her remarkable skills. The other team members often looked up to her like people did to a leader, though she had to share this position with Charles, who was equally competent. Latter began to finally acknowledge her capacity and they started working more like a team than rivals, though they still fought at times. Ellie was still intent on getting Richard's attention but this time not for the purpose of praise but for winning his affections. She had started changing the range of colors of her wardrobe from muddy green and brown to more bright and female colors like red and pink. She also tried to not constantly frown but flash a smile every now and then. Especially when Richard was around (during those moments in which he couldn't just escape and hide in his tent like a coward), she forced a friendly smile on her face and tried to ignore the fact that he wouldn't talk to her. She always used those moments to speak and tried to force him to participate in a conversion and it made her angry when he always found a way to avoid talking directly to her. He couldn't avoid her forever. Maybe if he thought she got over him, he would start treating her like he used to, again. But she had never shown him how hurt she was, she had always pretended she didn't care. She had never tried to seduce him, either, though she still intended to make him love her some day and sometimes played different scenarios in her head in which she sneaked into his tent at night. She had always acted like she was strong and didn't care – what else was she to do to make him think everything was alright? Why was he able to see through her like no one else was? Why didn't he buy her charade?

A month before her eighteenth birthday, Ellie accompanied Richard on a mission. There had been an attack and two of their people were being hold prisoner by the Army somewhere in the jungle. The plan was to surround and force them to surrender. Charles was leading a team from the north side of the position of the prisoners, Richard was leading a team from the south. Ellie was surprised that he hadn't just put her in the team with Charles but she assumed that he had put their personal problems aside for this mission and concentrated on what was the best division of the team. Charles and Ellie were both good at giving orders and organizing a team, so it didn't make much sense putting them in the same group. Though Richard was in command of their team, he still needed Ellie because she was one of the few who didn't hesitate when a job was to be done.

They soon had encircled the small prison camp in the jungle and waited for the right moment to attack. Richard gave Charles and Ellie a signal and they opened fire. The enemy put up resistance and shot back. During the gunfire, two of Richard's team went into the camp, avoiding being shot, and releasing the prisoners. Richard ordered to retreat because he always avoided killing when possible. They had gotten what they'd come for and there was no need for pointless bloodshed. Cautiously, the team drew back, keeping their rifles in front of them. Ellie had just reached the trees and turned around to disappear in the jungle, when she heard a gunshot and then felt a sudden pain in her right shoulder. She cried out in surprise and pain and stumbled under the trees. Her vision went blurry and though she wanted to run, she couldn't move her legs and tumbled to the ground.

"Ellie?" she heard the concerned voice of Richard next to her. "Can you get up? We have to leave."

She didn't answer but moaned in pain.

"Ellie, can you hear me?" Richard asked again.

"My shoulder," she mumbled. "There's a pain in my shoulder."

"Yes, I know. You have been shot," Richard said impatiently. "And if we don't leave right now, it will be more than just your shoulder."

Ellie tried to get up but she stumbled and fell on the ground again. Richard cursed but without hesitation bend down to her, lifted her up in his arms and started to make his way back to the forest. Ellie didn't notice much around her, just some blurry images that passed her by. She couldn't comprehend what had happened. Someone had shot her! That had never happened before, she always was to quick and attentive to get shot. She knew there was always a first time for everything but she wished it hadn't been in Richard's presence. Would he think she was incapable? And Charles certainly would be giving her a hard time, now, always teasing her because she had failed. She hadn't even been able to proceed, the gunshot wound had distracted her and brought her down. If Richard hadn't come to her rescue, she would have been killed. How could she have been so stupid? Everyone new that one didn't pay attention to petty injuries during a fight but dealt with them later, when everything was over. She had behaved as if she was dying, though everything she got was a small wound in her shoulder. She also had endangered Richard. He had been an easy target when he'd looked after her and if something had happened to him it would have been her fault.

Richard put her down on a makeshift bed, shouting orders at various members of his team. There was patter of feet, voices, shuffling sounds and clattering. Ellie noticed that Richard had stripped off her blouse and was examining her shoulder. When he touched the wound, she moaned in pain.

"It's alright, Ellie, we'll get that bullet out," he said in a calming voice. "I'm sorry but this will hurt a bit."

He poured something on her wound and her shoulder felt like it was burning.

"Sorry," he murmured, taking a first aid kit out of the hands of a man to his left and putting tweezers to her wound. She couldn't see what he was doing but the next thing she felt was an unbearable pain in her right shoulder and she cried out loud.

"It's alright, I got it," Richard said and there was a clattering sound. "Now, please lie still so that I can bandage your shoulder."

Ellie tried to lie as still as she could, while Richard took the first aid kit again and started bandaging her arm. When he finished, he fetched a jacket from a pile of clothes and helped Ellie to put it on. After that, he covered her with a blanket.

"I'm sorry," Ellie murmured.

"What are you apologizing for?" Richard asked with surprise. "You didn't do anything wrong, it could have happened to everyone."

"I should have been more careful," Ellie disagreed. "I endangered our team. I endangered _you_. When I got shot, I acted like a baby and you had to stay back to help me get home. They could have shot you, too, and it would have been my fault."

"You're too hard on yourself," Richard said softly. "It was your first gunshot wound, it's only natural you were confused. But it's impressive that it took you so long to even get any serious injury. Most people get hurt during their first missions but you always barely had a scratch on you. You are very smart, strong, and brave. Don't let this one thing weaken your self-confidence."

She didn't know how to respond to this but she was glad that she hadn't disappointed him.

"You should rest now, Ellie," he said. Richard bent down to her and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Sleep well!"

* * *

She felt a lot better when she woke up. The pain in her shoulder wasn't gone but she was able to think clear again. Slowly she sat up in the bed and took in her surroundings. She was in a tent but it wasn't hers. A few more glances confirmed her assumption that it was Richard's. He must have brought her there to treat her after the accident. She had been too tired to notice where he brought her. It dawned on her that she was sitting on Richard's bed, that she had _slept_ in his bed. Where was he? Surely, she couldn't expect him to stay with her all the time but she wanted to see him. She tried to get out of the bed but immediately stumbled and decided that it was better to sit down again. Outside she heard footsteps coming closer. A moment later, someone entered the tent. It was Richard.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Okay," she answered. "My shoulder still hurts but I guess that's normal."

"I'd like to examine it, if you don't mind," Richard said and sat down on a chair next to the bed.

"Sure," Ellie stripped off the jacket, which she recognized belonged to Richard, and put it down on the pillow. Richard removed the bandages and examined her shoulder.

"It looks fine," he said with an encouraging smile and replaced the bandages by new ones.

"Thanks," Ellie said. "And also thank you for carrying me back to the camp."

"My pleasure," Richard answered.

Someone entered the tent and Ellie turned her head to see Charles.

"Hi Ellie, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine, thanks," she responded.

"We were worried about you," he admitted. "I'm glad, you're alright, now."

She stared at him in surprise. Charles had been worried about her? She had always thought that he didn't care about anyone and that he'd think she was weak, now that she'd been wounded. Maybe he wasn't that bad after all. Or he had just grown up, eventually.

"Well, I have work to do," Charles said. "See you later, Ellie."

He left and Richard and Ellie were alone, again.

"You can't fool me, you know," Ellie said in good mood.

"I'm sorry?" Richard asked.

"You care about me more than you like," she explained. "You've been constantly avoiding me but only because you have feelings for me."

Richard sighed.

"At first I thought you really didn't want me," Ellie said. "I was hurt. I thought about how I could change your mind. Then I started to understand that you didn't keep your distance because of my feelings for you but because of your feelings for me."

He didn't say anything.

"It's true, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yes, it's true," Richard admitted, sighing again. "I didn't want you to know because I thought you would forget about it if you thought I had no feelings for you."

"Well, don't worry, I wouldn't have let you gone," she said smiling perkily. "I always planned on seducing you somehow, on convincing you that I was good enough for you."

"Eloise, it was never about you not being good enough for me," he said sadly. "It was about me not being good for you."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked shocked. "How can you not be good enough for anybody? I thought it was me, that you didn't want me because you thought I was a child."

"You've always acted a lot older than you are," Richard said. "When you were thirteen, you already seemed like you were seventeen."

"I always thought you hadn't noticed me," Ellie said. "I wanted your attention so badly."

"I know and I've always tried to ignore you," Richard answered. "I didn't want to notice you more than was appropriate. But as time drew on, you got more intelligent, much stronger and more beautiful. I couldn't ignore that. And when you told me about your feelings, when you jumped me on that meadow, I was so glad you returned those feelings, that you didn't see me as an old man. I nearly lost control but I was able to compose myself again. I planned to keep my distance and never touch you again."

"But why?" Ellie asked. "Why would you do that when we had the same feelings? Because of Jacob? Or because I'm seventeen? You know I'll be eighteen soon."

"I know, Ellie, but that weren't the only reasons," Richard said. "Time to me is something completely different than it is to the rest of the world. When you've lived as long as I have, it doesn't matter whether someone is seventeen or thirty. I'm very old, though I don't age. I looked like this when you were born. I look like this now that you're seventeen. I'll look like this when you're forty. I'll also look like this when you're eighty. Long after you'll have died, I'll still look like this. You will age, I won't. We'd never have a normal relationship. When you're old, I won't have changed a bit. You will die some day and I won't. It would break my heart to lose you then. I've seen more people die than anyone else. That's why I try to keep my distances ... because it's hard to lose people you care about and know you can't follow them. I know that everyone around me will die some day and I will be alive to witness it. I'm not a normal guy, I'm not the right man to start a relationship with. You should be with someone who is normal. Someone like Charles. He cares about you, though he tries to hide it."

She stared at him in wonder. He never had said so many words to her, before.

"I don't want to be with Charles," she explained. "I want to be with you. I know that you don't age but I don't care. I'm only seventeen and it will take a long time until I've caught up with you. It won't probably seem that long to you but we could at least have some time together. Don't you think it's better to at least be happy for some time than never be happy at all?"

"You think we could be happy together?" Richard asked. "You think I could make you happy?"

"Of course!" Ellie said. "I love you. To me you are perfect and I couldn't imagine someone who could make me more happy than you can. You should stop worrying and just try. Maybe you'll notice that I can make you happy, too."

"You already make me happy," Richard smiled. "Just seeing you and all your ambitions, seeing you growing up and becoming a beautiful woman makes me happy."

"You really think I'm beautiful?" Ellie asked blushing.

"You're perfect," he whispered and placed a gentle kiss on her mouth.

"What about Jacob?" Ellie asked unsure after they had detached.

"To hell with Jacob," he repeated the words she had used a while ago and kissed her passionately.

* * *

Since the day of her gunshot wound, things had changed for Ellie and Richard. He had finally acknowledged his feelings for her and didn't try to avoid her, anymore. They didn't let it show in public – that wouldn't have been professional – but whenever there was time, one of them would sneak into the other one's tent to steal a kiss. Ellie loved those moments because she could never predict when Richard would visit her. He always came to her when she least expected it. Vice versa he always seemed to be positively surprised when she paid him a visit and would interrupt whatever he was doing. They kept their relationship on a relative innocent level and always just shared a few kisses and small touches. Ellie would have loved to go one step further but there never seemed to be the right opportunity because in a camp like theirs one had not much privacy. She also had a feeling that Richard was restraining himself because he still felt bad about how he had reacted on the meadow and because he still wasn't sure, whether their relationship was a good idea. But she tried to be patient because what they had was more than she had ever hoped for.

Things changed again, when there was an imminent attack and nobody knew how it would end. There was the possibility that neither of them would survive. Ellie was not afraid of dying but she was afraid of losing Richard. He didn't age but that didn't mean he couldn't die by human hands. She couldn't bare the thought of losing him, it made her feel nauseous and pained her heart. How would she go on without him? But she also trusted in Richard's skills, he wouldn't just let himself be killed. If only a few of them survived, he would certainly be one of them. That thought calmed her down a little. Still, the night before the attack she lie awoke in her bed and tossed and turn. Finally, she couldn't bear it anymore and got up. Silently, she left her tent and walked across the field towards his tent. She only wore one of her tank tops and shorts and the grass felt wet and cold under her feet. Her heart was thumping away when she crept into his tent. It was almost dark inside but there was a nearly burned down candle on the table which lit the tent just enough to make out vague shapes. Determined, she approached his bed and sat down beside him. When her weight pressed down on the makeshift bed, he awoke and looked straight into her face.

"Ellie?" he asked warily. "Is everything alright?"

She didn't answer but instead pressed her lips on his mouth and wrapped her arms around him. He immediately responded and pulled her closer. She desperately kissed him like she was drowning. When he stopped her, she gave him an impatient look.

"Are you sure everything is alright?" he asked concerned. "You seem distraught."

"Kiss me!" she requested. "I want you to kiss me like never before!"

He complied and kissed her passionately. Ellie moaned and pressed him down on the bed. She started unbuttoning his shirt and then tossed it carelessly on the ground. His chest was tanned like his face and there was a fuzz of dark hair. She let her hands stroke across his skin which triggered soft moans from him. When her hand wandered to the zipper of his pants, he stopped her.

"Ellie, are you absolutely sure about this?" he asked. "There's no need for rushing things. You'll be eighteen soon, we could wait. I'm perfectly happy with what we already have."

"I'm not. I wanted this since the day on the meadow," she said hoarsely. "I'm know what I'm doing!"

Richard didn't need another invitation. He immediately stripped her top over her head, revealing her naked breasts. Gently his hands started caressing her but Ellie didn't waste time and unzipped his pants. Then she helped him getting rid of her shorts. They contemplated each others naked bodies and caressed each other, constantly kissing. When he noticed her impatience, he carefully placed her on the bed under his body. Kissing her, he slowly entered her. She felt pain between her legs but it was nothing compared to her gunshot wound. This pain came along with pleasure and love, which made it bearable. When he had made sure she was comfortable, Richard crushed his lips down on hers and their tongues met hungrily. For the first time in her life, Ellie felt complete and totally happy. In this moment she had everything she ever wanted. She never wanted to let him go again, wanted to stay forever entangled with him in his bed.

* * *

_It's strange when you see your story gets hits but still no one bothers to review. Is this story that bad? It would be nice to know what you think of it._


	3. Part 3

_I don't know why I didn't upload this earlier because the story was already finished in March. I'm sorry about that. The last part will probably be up in October because I won't be online for a couple of days._

* * *

They didn't call her Ellie anymore. People had stopped using that name a long time ago, she was Eloise now. She had grown a few inches and matured over the years. According to Richard, she was getting more and more beautiful every day. They'd never made it official but most people assumed what was going on between the two of them.

Her relationship with Charles had changed. She respected him now and he looked at her with admiration. He told her that her relationship with Richard was wrong, that he had a job to do and didn't need distractions. The same words, Richard once had used. She didn't really know if he actually meant it or if he just tried to separate them so he could have a chance. They would be a good match, she had to admit. Both had remarkable skills which earned them both the position of a leader. They already shared so many things that it seemed logic they'd share a life, too. But it didn't matter to Eloise because she wouldn't leave Richard even though Charles was a good man. She didn't love Charles like she loved Richard. He was more like a good friend. Someone who she cared about, who did the same things she did and whose opinion she often valued. They were equals. But things with Richard were different. After all these years, he still was like a mystery to her sometimes. His opinion was always most important to her and he not simply wanted her because she was a good match but because he desired her in every way. He didn't want her to be perfect all the time, he understood when she made mistakes and nevertheless told her she did fine. When she was with him she could set aside her always strong and alert demeanor and still feel save.

The army was gone for a long time, but they had a new enemy: the DHARMA Initiative. They had come to the island some time ago and started building an entire village – of all things on the exact same position where they had buried the hydrogen bomb years ago. From the beginning, these people had meant trouble. Unfortunately, they had a truce right now and couldn't do anything against the DHARMA Initiative unless these people broke it. Nevertheless, there was always much to do. Eloise's people had to be careful that none of their secrets were discovered by the DHARMA Initiative and they had to make sure no one broke the truce. The organization of their people was largely Eloise's and Charles' job. Since they had become the leaders, Richard had somewhat secluded himself and often disappeared for a long time in the jungle, letting nobody know what he was doing. Eloise assumed that he was doing something for Jacob, but Richard wouldn't talk to her about it. When she asked him why he wouldn't stay with them all the time, he'd say that they didn't need him anymore and that he had other things to do. At first, Charles had tried to make him stay by giving him orders but soon enough he and Eloise had to accept that Richard wouldn't be ordered around by anyone except Jacob. This made Charles angry because he didn't like people ignoring his authority. But Eloise considered that someone who had been around as long as Richard just wouldn't let other people order him around. He had so much more knowledge than Charles or Eloise even if he didn't always show it. He got what it took to be a leader and he always knew how to evaluate a situation or what to do. For that reason he acted as some kind of adviser and Eloise always valued his opinion. Still she was somewhat worried that he spent so much time outside their camp. It made her feel anxious not knowing where he was or what he was doing and when he would return. She felt excluded and that there was a distance growing between them. When he returned from his trips, he barely talked to her and often had to be animated to say anything at all. Sometimes he was in a bad mood and snapped at everyone who dared to approach him. But then there would also be happy moments in which Eloise and Richard spent time together in his tent, holding each other and softly whispering affections into each other's ears. During those moments, Eloise felt like time stood still and that their happiness would last forever. She was able to cast aside all her worries and problems and just enjoyed her time with Richard. All her worries about the future were banished from her thoughts and preserved for a later time, when she was alone and had enough time to think about everything clearly.

* * *

Deep down in her heart, Eloise had always known their relationship wouldn't be permanent. Still, she had hoped the day when all good things ended would be far away. So it came as a surprise when Richard one day said he wanted to talk to her about something important. She immediately knew that something wasn't right and that it hadn't anything to do with their people or their enemy. He invited her on a walk and Eloise reluctantly joined him. Richard seemed nervous and while they were walking, he avoided her gaze. They arrived at a small pond and sat down near the water. It was actually a very beautiful spot, surrounded by nature but Eloise knew they hadn't come to the place for romance. Richard struggled for words at first. He told her how important she was to him and how much he had enjoyed their time together. Eloise didn't like the way he had started the conversation and interrupted him to ask him to get to the point. He sighed and explained that he didn't want to say the things he would say but that he had to. Whatever he'd tell her, she had to understand that it wasn't his decision. Eloise realized with a pang at her heart what he was about to say but kept quiet to let him finish. He told her how he had always wanted her and still wanted her but that he had talked to Jacob. His job was very important, far more important than his relationship with Eloise because she would be gone someday while Jacob and the island would stay. He mustn't be egoistic. What he wanted wasn't important. The island and Jacob were important and he had to do whatever he was told without questioning anything. Surely, Eloise would understand. She did understand but she didn't want to believe it was over. When she was seventeen and Richard had told her they couldn't be together, she had never thought about the future. She had always wanted him and never accepted "no" as an answer. But now she realized that Richard had always just tried to protect her because he had known they wouldn't have a happy ending and that losing him would hurt her more than never having him at all. She had always thought it wouldn't matter, that some time with him would be enough and that after that she would be able to let him go. Now she wasn't so sure about it anymore. Would she be able to endure it? Seeing him everyday but never again kissing him. Could she endure the pain without breaking apart? She had to, because she was one of the leaders. She couldn't let it show in front of Charles, she must not appear weak. A leader was supposed to be strong and didn't let himself (or herself in Eloise's case) be overcome by emotions. Eloise brushed away her tears, straightened her back and tried to put on her business face. She asked him if he had told her everything he had planned to because she had some business to attend to and if he was finished talking, she'd like to get back to the camp. He told her she didn't have to pretend to be strong, that she could show her feelings when with him but she answered coldly that he had lost this privilege – getting a look at the real Eloise – when ending their relationship and started her way back to the camp. She disappeared inside her tent and didn't come out again for the rest of the day.

Without noticing it, Eloise changed. She didn't smile anymore and rarely had any friendly words for her people. She was always strict and businesslike without time for jokes. Only when she was alone and unobserved she stopped her self-possession and allowed a few drops of tears to roll down her cheeks. Sometimes she felt ridiculous, crying just because a man had left her – like a child. But Richard wasn't just any man, he was special. Unfortunately, a relationship wasn't possible and Eloise knew. She knew that the island always came first, which was why she didn't try to change his mind. He had a responsibility and she had no right to interfere in Jacob's plans. When she had been young and naive, she hadn't realized the importance of Richard's job and had always pretended that they could have a normal life. Now she knew she'd always deceived herself. They were never supposed to be together. But though she new it was meant to be this way, she couldn't really cope with it. No one else had ever hurt her the way Richard had done.

Richard broke her heart and in her desperation, Eloise turned to the only person, she had: Charles. He had wanted her for a long time and willingly offered comfort. She never cried in his presence, yet he always knew when she needed a few nice words or a hug. It felt like betrayal to her but she knew she had to move on some day. Richard wasn't available but Charles was. Richard wasn't her age but Charles was. Richard wasn't normal but Charles was. Though she didn't love him, Charles was the perfect match. Maybe, if she tried hard, she could learn to love him. She had hated him as a teenager but then started to like him. Maybe her feelings for him would grow if she spent enough time with him. And after all, hadn't he deserved to get a chance?

* * *

Eloise had thought that things with Charles would get easier over time but they didn't. At first she had been glad for the comfort he gave her but then she started noticing there were a lot of things about Charles she didn't like. He was always patronizing her which made her mad. Sometimes he ordered her around, forgetting that they were both leaders, and he wanted her to stay at the camp when their people were going on a dangerous mission. During those times, she always had to remind Charles that they were leading their people together and that she had as much saying in things like he had. She was reminded of earlier times, when they had been teenagers and Charles had treated her like that, never letting her do anything by herself.

When they were intimate, Eloise always thought about how much better Richard's hands had felt on her skin and how he'd always known how to please her without asking. It wasn't that she was completely unsatisfied by Charles, but every time she was with him, she wanted him to be Richard. She felt like she was betraying both, Richard and Charles. She was betraying Richard because she was with Charles. She was betraying Charles because she was thinking about Richard. She also knew that both of them could be hurt by her actions. It hadn't been easy for Richard to break up with her and he still wanted her, she could see it in his eyes. Seeing her with Charles was hard for him. Charles had known that she and Richard had been together and if he found out that she still loved and thought about him, he would be hurt. Though she was annoyed by him sometimes, she still cared about him deeply and didn't want to hurt his feelings. So she decided she had to do something about it. Making Richard happy was not within her power because he had chosen to be without her. But if she could finally let go of Richard and stop thinking about him, at least Charles could be happy. There was only one more thing she had to do.

* * *

It was night, when Eloise closed the fabric entrance behind her and stepped into the tent.

"Who is it?" Richard asked dozily.

Without answering, she walked towards him and crept to him under his blanket.

"What are you doing, Eloise?" he asked warily.

She didn't answer but pressed her lips onto his. He responded but then pulled back.

"Why are you here?" he asked. "What do you think you're doing? I thought you'd understood that we cannot be together. Hell, you're with Charles, now."

"It doesn't matter," she explained. "I mean I don't want to hurt him but he doesn't have to know this ever happened."

"That what happened?" Richard asked warily. "Eloise, you know we can't –"

"When you broke up with me I was hurt and never really dealt with it," Eloise interrupted him. "I didn't have time to conclude. How can I ever get over you the way we ended things? I want a real ending for our relationship. Please, Richard, I need this. Let us just be together one last time so I can close the matter without thinking about how badly things between us ended. Just one more time and I will never bother you again. I know you want this, too. I know you still want me."

"This is not a good idea," Richard said. "We already ended things. I know it was hard for you. If we spend the night together, we'd have to end this again tomorrow. Wouldn't that hurt you even more?"

"No, because this time I know that we'd only have til morning," Eloise explained. "This time I am prepared. We could enjoy our last time together and later remember our parting as the last happy moment in our relationship rather than the day you broke my heart. Richard, don't you want this as much as I do? Don't you want to have one last time of happiness?"

* * *

When she told him she was pregnant, Charles' overprotectiveness grew and he was always worried. She then had to remind him that she could take care of herself and that there was nothing to worry about. Charles was not the only one who was worried about her. Richard was worried about her, too, and always watching her. But she wasn't the one who needed watching. It happened one day that a man from the DHARMA Initiative walked into their camp. It was the day all problems started. The man was holding a gun at Richard and when he didn't lower it, Eloise had to step in and shot him without hesitation. Richard was angry at her for shooting the man but how could she have acted any differently? She just had to protect the man she still loved. She couldn't bare the thought of losing him. Eloise was shocked to find out that the man she had shot came from the future and apparently was her son. He was also the same man who had told her people years ago to bury the hydrogen bomb. There were two more people with him, a man and a woman. They were just pretending to be part of the DHARMA Initiative but in reality they were all from the future. It was hard to comprehend. She had just shot her son who wasn't even born. How was something like that possible? But the journal with her handwriting, a text that she hadn't even written yet, and the fact that the dead man was the same man she took to the bomb over twenty years ago, not looking much older than he had back then, was proof enough. His friends, Jack and Kate, explained to her that they needed the bomb to change things. Her son didn't have to be dead, she didn't have to be responsible for her son's fate. Without hesitation, she agreed to bring them to the bomb. She had to make up for what she had done. Charles and Richard had objections, naturally. Love could be complicated. Both of them were worried about her and didn't want her to be in any kind of danger. Especially not in her condition. But nobody told Eloise what to do. She had made a decision and wouldn't be talked out of it. She ordered Richard and Erik to accompany her on her mission. Charles had to stay at the camp because their people needed at least one leader. She was glad to leave him behind this time because he would have constantly tried to talk her out of her plan which would have slowed her down. Richard was bad enough but she needed him on this kind of mission.

When they arrived at the pond, there was trouble. The woman, Kate, wanted to leave and when Erik tried to stop her, a man appeared and shot him. Apparently he was a friend of Jack and Kate's. Richard was very upset but Eloise just hoped that Jack was right and could change things. If he did, everything that had happened wouldn't matter and Erik would still be alive. Just as her son. She wasn't really sure whether Jacks plan would work but she hid her doubts and tried to be optimistic. There had to be a way to save her son. She'd never forgive herself that she had killed him.

The man who had killed Erik followed the instructions of the journal of Eloise's son and removed the core of the bomb. Eloise and Richard led the two men to a secret way into one of the DHARMA houses. She wanted to go first but suddenly there was a pain at the back of her head and everything turned black.

When she woke up, Eloise was very angry at Richard. He had knocked her out and carried her back to their camp, so she hadn't been able to help Jack with the bomb. She wanted to be there when he changed the past, when he saved her future son. It was too late now to follow him and besides, Richard and Charles were watching her constantly and didn't allow her to leave her tent. If anything went wrong and Jack wasn't able to detonate the bomb, it was all Richard's fault because he had kept her from helping him. Why didn't he understand how important it was for her to change what she had done to her son? Though she was angry, she couldn't really blame Richard. She probably would have acted similar if she'd been in his position. She had shot a man without hesitation, just to save Richard from being killed. He hadn't knocked her out to make her angry but to protect her because he cared for her.

* * *

After the incident, things changed. The pregnant women started dying and everybody knew Eloise would be next if they didn't do anything. She didn't want to leave but Charles and Richard insisted that she got onto the submarine and went to the mainland. The two highest-ranking people – beside herself – wanted her to go. She was outvoted, so how was she supposed to defy?

It was hard saying goodbye to her people. Most of them she had known all her life and they were like family. Now she'd leave them behind just like her home. Richard had taken care of everything. He had gotten her a house off-island where she would live. He'd also provided her with an ID and a bank account. Nevertheless, she'd need some time to get used to a normal life away from the island. Richard and Charles accompanied her to the secret dock, which was unknown to the DHARMA Initiative, where she would leave the island in a submarine. Charles gave her some privacy so she could say goodbye to Richard at first. It was hard for her, she didn't want to leave Richard behind.

"I'll miss you," she whispered quietly so that Charles wouldn't hear what she said. "I've always loved you and I will always love you. You just have to say the word and I'll immediately return."

"That will never happen," Richard said. "We're not supposed to be together."

"Then this really means goodbye," Eloise said sadly and hugged him. She wanted to kiss him one last time but that was not an option with Charles around them.

They let go and Richard walked away to let her say goodbye to Charles. It was easier for her to leave him behind, though she'd miss him, too. But at least Charles promised to visit her and her son. She'd see him again. He brushed his hand fondly through her hair and then kissed her goodbye.


End file.
